Monday, December 30, 2002
Calling all Potential Housemates.
What's the story, morning glory?
Basically, a friend and I have a spare room and we're looking for someone to move in with us.
It's possible - just possible - that that someone might be you.
Okay. So, what's the house like?
It's a lovely, recently renovated weatherboard house in West Brunswick, Melbourne. It's light, bright, free-standing and has three bedrooms. It was painted not too long ago, and has a mix of carpet and Baltic pine floorboards throughout.
Are there any cool things about the house?
You betcha. This is the best house ever.
For example:
There's an airconditioner in the lounge room.
It's a block away from tram and shopping centre.
It's been recently renovated.
It has really excellent water pressure in the shower.
The bathroom is bright and clean and has a tub.
It has a cool, high-tech water heater.
It has those heater-light thingies in the bathroom.
It has a gas stove and heater.
It has lots of storage.
It has a big back yard with off-street parking.
You'll be living with a 29-year old writer and a 27-year old artist.
And, most importantly,
The person who moves in with us will be rewarded with a spazzy biro drawing of a robot eating a banana.
What's the rent like?
$390 pcm + bond. That's kinda like $90 a week. Kinda.
What's the room like?
It's a really good room, actually - it's the main bedroom of the house, and it's largish. It has an ornate fireplace and two windows, one of which is a three-panel feature window thingy with leadlight. The carpet is blue-grey. I imagine you'll be very happy there.
When's the room available?
The room's available from February 16th, 2003, but if you're looking to move earlier, contact me anyway. I'm sure we can come to an arrangement.
Do you have any photos of the house?
Why yes, as it happens. Here are a few pictures. Examine them closely.
Now, visualise yourself in this house - eating, laughing, dancing, playing checkers, teaching a robot how to love etc. Does it feel right? Does it feel like the next chapter of your life might unfold in this house? Can you imagine yourself baking tureens and speaking Esperanto and driving monster trucks in this house?
If so, then it may just be the house for you, and you should email me immediately to come check it out.
If not, are you sure? Were you looking at the right photos? You know, your glasses do look a bit dirty.
Incidentally, if the photo link above doesn't work, email me and I'll send the pics to you.
Who will I be living with?
The person who makes this, as well as the person who makes things like this. We are, respectively, a 29-year-old female writer and a 28-year-old male artist. We like making up words that sound silly and then giggling a lot. We also like the films of Stanley Kubrick.
Who won't I be living with?
You will not be living with David Hasselhoff. This we can promise you.
Is the house built on top of an old Indian burial ground?
No.
Are you sure?
Pretty sure.
Well, I must say I'm interested. What should I do next?
You should email me to arrange a time to come have a look at the house, and meet us and so forth.
Then, you should sit down and drink a really cold glass of iced tea, because iced tea is delicious.
